Monday, April 2, 2012

Health Writer's Challenge; Day 2

"Quotation Inspiration. Find a quote that inspires you (either positively or negatively) and free write about it for 15 minutes."

This quote was only sent to me this morning by my friend, C, when I was pondering decisions like leaving full time stable work for university, wondering if it was the right decision and all that (I know for sure I want to study nutrition, but sometimes question how I'm going about it or my timing).

It also reminds me of a lovely lady, G, that I used to work with, who once said to me, "If you're scared you know it's the right thing to do because you're challenging yourself".  I hope she reads this so she knows I remember.

I'm not interested in people being scared of me or being particularly feisty or loud, and I'm not really interested in being an extreme person, (in fact, I have spent a lot of time avoiding that exact personality trait), but I do hope to always be as strong as I can be and always tackle everything as head on as I can (comfortably do).  I'm not interested in disappearing and I'm  not interested in going with the flow, I like to make things happen, and super do not believe in 'luck'.  In fact, one of the most annoying things I find that people say to me in relation to my illness is how 'lucky' I was that I got better.  OK, a, super smidge, of luck was involved that the particular treatment I went on did eventually work for me, but I made the decision to tackle the most insane treatment protocol ever, which made me incredibly sick before I got better, and I chose to stick with it for years on end.  That bit was not luck , it was damn hard work.  

So when I wake up in the morning I don't want the devil, or anyone, really, to think 'oh crap' because I am up, I want them to think 'oh crap, what is she going to make happen today'.  I want to continue to be strong and determined in myself and always aim high and chase after what I want, but I also want to be gentle in my approach to myself and others.  I am on a rampage, but I am only rampaging to make my own life exactly how I want it.

I'm not sure if that made sense.

Stay well,
Nat x

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