Thursday, May 2, 2013

The Fear. (The Rant)

I haven't been blogging lately because I've developed this fear.. a fear that you will read my blog, see what I eat, see my seemingly healthy slender body, and decide that you will eat like I do.

I ate this at the Windsor High Tea - I recommend you copy this experience!

Here's the thing.  We're all different. We have different genes, we live different lives, we have different everything. (youi insurance!  I kid.)  My diet won't work for you.  The diet of the longest living people in Okinawa is most likely also not going to work for you.  X brand new diet books eating plan with x calories and exact perfect instructions will probably make you drop weight, but that is still not a sign it is right for you.

Everybody is looking outside for advice on what to eat and how to live longer and healthier and it freaks me the hell out.

Watching loved ones hang off every word of a current affairs story or the latest popular nutritionist kills me inside.  Why are you not listening to common sense?  Most of the people reading this blog have been blessed with intelligence and autonomy.  What an amazing mixture - the ability to make smart decisions and then act on them?  No wayyy!

Some rules are worth following, like, don't eat processed food.  How simple is that?  Just because you can chew it and swallow it, it doesn't make it food.  Did you ever wonder why those sugary boxed treats have vitamins pumped into them?  Because without them.. they're sweet cardboard...  

Eat what your great great grandparents would have eaten (note that they may have eaten cheese, but they certainly didn't eat sliced processed cheese.. and their yoghurt wasn't sugar laden).  That's it.. not hard.  The rest is pretty much common sense.  Think of your longest living known relative and take those cues.  Mine lived to their late 90s, ate a Mediterranean/Arabic blended diet and was SO active that even blindness didn't stop her.  Somehow I don't think she was trying to look up in books what would make her live longer.  

Also remember that food and diet and weight loss is just a giant money making wheel because THEY KNOW how much you want to look like that model over there.  Food with a health claim really does not care about your health and, guess what?  Foods labelled 'diet' are REALLY REALLY BAD FOR YOU.  But people buy them and make money.  Books telling you what to eat... money.  It is so looked down upon when people try to make money off the ill (diet books to cure x disease.. pill from tagu-tagu koala forest.. whatevs. CFS was a massive market for this), but somehow when it comes to food, everyone gets away with it.

Here's a diet plan that will work;
Breakfast - 1 slice of toast with 1 pear and a glass of green tea with ginger.

Morning Snack - 1 tim tam
Lunch - 2 eggs with 3 egg whites, a baked onion and as much lettuce a you want.
brush your teeth IMMEDIATELY after eating for at least 3 minutes.  4 minutes if you had more than 2 lettuces.
Afternoon snack - 20 jelly belly jelly beans, but no popcorn flavour. 

Dinner - Meat or fish the size of your palm, 3 oysters, 8 stalks of celery cooked in 1 cup of vegetable broth, and a cup of peppermint tea.

Drink at least 2 litres of water throughout the day.  

... I just made that shit up, but if I stuck it in a book with 'The Tim Tam and Jelly Bean Diet! Lose 2kgs a week!", it would sell.  And yes, you would probably lose the weight... and be totally unhealthy and unhappy.  Yay!  

How sad is it that it is more sensible than 80% of the diet books out there?
Eat only fruit until midday!
Starve yourself 2 days a week and eat whatever you want the other days!
Don't touch sugar but eat as much processed bacon as you like!
Cayenne pepper and lemon!!!
I have a nutrition degree... WHAT I SAY IS RIGHT FOR EVERYONE.  

So sad.  

Had to get this off my chest!

Stay well and please just listen to your body and ignore everyone, including me.
Nat x


  1. I love this, and I couldn't agree more -- the diet books, nutritional "advice", and other things floating around claiming to be healthy are largely nonsense. Thank you for calling it like it is! :)

    1. No worries! I think a lot of people would think like this but don't want the criticism that may come with it (or, sadly in a lot of health blogs' cases, don't want people to stop sending them stuff to try).

  2. Couldn't agree any more with you Nat. It's common sense really. Get back to basics people and cut the crap.

  3. YES!

    As i'm getting older, I seem to be more logical with my food and my attitude towards "food" itself. I used to see it as this big bad thing that never did any good to me but now I know its something in this life that is meant to be enjoyed! Just have to have balance and your common sense!

    - KK

    1. Same same Kara - I think that the stressing about what to eat (in those of us conscious of keeping ourselves well) does far more harm than the occasional splash of cream or chunk of cheese on bread..

  4. agree with you! am amazed that the fasting diet is turning up in every magazine i pick up lately - from fashion magazines like harpers bazaar, to the women's weekly and even women's health magazine. that and the 'eat only in an 8 hour period a day" (i'm not explaining that well but you know what i mean, i'm sure).
    deranged! but deranged to see them everywhere.

  5. Totally agree with you. I just stick with no processed foods/limit sugar and I find that works best for me. Of course I still indulge (ie - a little chocolate every day) but for the most part, my eating is sensible and I've managed to lose 8 kilos and maintain my weight for months now.

    I never believe all that stupid fad diet crap, or those celebrity slim type weight loss 'food' products.

    Just drink alot of water and eat wholefoods and thats the secret! lol